(Editor's note: This is my stock intro for when I turn texts between Laura Beth and me into posts. The below is actually texts between my buddy Taylor and me. We're not married. I don't have a stock intro for friendship texts.)
I don't care what it makes you think about me, Duck Dynasty is one of my favorite shows on television. If you haven't heard of it, it is reality show about a family of self made millionaires that like to blow up beaver dams. It may not be the most refined show on television, but I would argue that it promotes higher values than just about anything else you will watch (i.e. faith, clean humor, emphasis on family.)
Well, back in the summer one of the members of the show was going to be near my hometown doing publicity stuff so I emailed a couple of buddies and arranged for us to go meet him. It was Jace, my favorite of the Robertsons. Of course something happened where I didn't get to go, but my buddies did. And they both text me to let me know what I was missing out on. Here is my conversation with Taylor:
Taylor: 10min from meeting duck commander. Me and Bull have been in line for 1hr.
Scott: Im so jealous.
T: I am 20ft from him right now.
S: so you are probably standing on his beard?
T: Yeah, accidentally. And I think he shaved right before he got here.
S: Ask him if he is housing any small woodland creatures in there.
T: Actually, they did have a squirrel that could waterski here a few minutes ago.
S: Was it the one from Anchorman?
T: I don't know, but it was kind of a big deal.
S: Well, waterskiing or not, if Ms. Kay sees him he'll be stew.
T: If she's not busy with Phil.
S: I think we just described Phil's perfect night.
S: Yall look so giddy.
T: Correct. We were.
I found these texts today when I was cleaning out my phone because the memory was getting low. It made me realize that I hadn't seen the Duck Dynasty gang in a while so I googled them and learned the new season of Duck Dynasty starts tonight! 10/9 CST on A&E. Obviously divine intervention is at work here so you should do yourself a favor and check it out.
And come to think of it, if I ever become a millionaire I would probably spend a little time blowing up beaver dams, too.