I was emailing with my buddy, Bull, today and mentioned that I don’t know if I’d continue blogging. My reasons: I used to write while at work, but now my job requires thought so I can’t fit it in. After work, I have an hour commute which means I don’t have as much family time, so any extra time at home I spend with the kiddos or LB. In short, I rarely get ideas anymore and when I do I don’t have time to write about them.
Ok, that last paragraph seemed a little complainy. My bad. But the thought of not blogging anymore made me a little sad. So I’m making one last ditch effort while LB watches a DVR'd episode of What Not to Wear.
I don’t have anything to write about so I’m just going to spit my flow freestyle. FYI-that was rap talk for stream of consciousness. FYI-that was fancy talk for I’m going to make stuff up as I go.
Here goes:
I think the 5 second rule should vary in length depending on where you are. My dirt is not as nasty as the dirt in a QT bathroom.
Speaking of QT bathrooms, I think there should be sensors on the floors around the urinals that buzz when they detect stray urine. If you can go to the bathroom and don’t get buzzed, you win a free fountain drink. This promotes clean bathrooms so the employees won’t have to clean it as much and we get a free drink to replenish the fluids we just disposed of. It’s a win for everybody involved. Except people could just walk in, stand in the corner, say they went to the bathroom, and walk out to get a free drink. So I guess there would have to be a way to verify you actually went to the bathroom. That is where this idea proposal gets awkward. Obviously this has not been thought out, that is what stream of consciousness is, guys.
I judge a man when he is the only one in the bathroom and he is using the low urinal. I’m not saying it is right. I probably shouldn’t be saying it at all. I know that it is probably because someone was at the normal hight urinal when he came in, but still, I judge him.
Ok, I’m stopping this now, I dont like where it is headed. I had envisioned me making fun of What Not to Wear, but as soon as I started typing I dropped my Valentine heart shaped Reese’s cup on the floor. Then ate it anyway and then somehow started talking about urinals. I’m not sure how that happened.
My blog and I had a good run, and honestly, I’d hate for this post to be the way we go out. Even the title is bad. We’ll see what happens.
Stay classy, internet.
I can't think of a title....
Echoes in the Pines
Apparently we are supposed to blackout out our websites today because of soap or something. As with most things I am not informed enough about what is going on to form an opinion so I am going to choose to ignore everything. It has worked so far in life.
Plus, if I didn’t post today I couldn’t tell you about my blog buddy, David Robbins, new digital album. Echoes in the Pines. Full disclosure: there are things I like and things I do not like about his album. I like the name because I think echoes are cool, if you say something you like you get to hear it multiple times. I don’t like the fact that it is digital, therefore making it impossible to hang on my rear view mirror.
You may remember David as the man who took Urkel as the first overall draft pick in last year's TV March Madness Tournament. But In an effort for you to get to know David better and hopefully listen to his music, and hopfullier buy his music and hopefulliest make him rich and famous, I conducted a very serious, quite formal interview with him.
1) Tell me a little about yourself and how you decided to pursue music as a career.
I started writing songs at 13. It came more naturally than learn others' songs and I enjoyed it more. It was a proper outlet for me as a kid. As I got older, I think it just helped me cope with the crap life throws at you sometimes. It helps me process. As far as it being a career, I don't want to assume I'm that good yet. I'd like to but it seems a bit pretentious.
2) I lost my job and moved furniture, you lost your job and create music…does that make you a better person than me?
No. You can no doubt bench press more than me and would win in a bare knuckle fight. You are a real man. I'm a pansy songwriter.
3) Who are your biggest musical influences?
Townes Van Zandt. Leonard Cohen. Johnny Cash. Those guys all had a way with breaking your heart.
4) What is the saddest chord on the guitar? Why?
That's tough. I think it's a toss up between C and A-Minor. Every song that makes me cry has those two chords in it. They've been sprinkled with magical depression dust.
5) I’ve often considered singing to be the same as talking, only taking longer to say the words. Thoughts?
Correct. Crap. I'm out of the job now.
6) What is your favorite song? Musician? Album?
Chelsea Hotel #2 by Leonard Cohen is definitely one of my favorites. That and the entire Rain Dogs album by Tom Waits. Pure gold.
7) Flava Flav wears a big clock around his neck. I think all musicians should wear oversized household objects around their necks. Though, I would wear something more useful such as a cutlery set, however I am not a musician. What are going to you wear around your neck now that you are a musician?
A lawnmower. Or a chainsaw. Or a sewing machine. Something manly.
8) Have you ever considered going on American Idol? If so, would you wear a bee costume or a bikini top, or something else as equally zany?
Probably the sewing machine. That's it.
9) If one of your songs were turned into a dance song, like the Macarena or the Stanky Legg, would a shimmy be involved?
Probably. But there would most likely be whiskey involved. So maybe not so much of a shimmy as a stupor.
10) Other than acts like Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, and Justin Bieber, what other musician's popularity is evidence that western civilization is doomed?
I actually respect Taylor Swift. She's a great songwriter for what she does. But other than that, Katy Perry. She is destroying our children's futures.
11) Do any of your songs "feat." guest rappers in the bridge?
Yes. Drake is on track 24.
11) My wife can play the tin whistle. Would you like to hear it?
More than anything ever, Boss Hogg!
12) I am pretty good at eating, one time I thought about this great invention where you build refrigerators with a mirrored back. This way, you wouldn’t ever not be able see food that might be hiding behind the gallon jug of milk. You are pretty good at music. Have you ever thought of an invention to improve your trade?
I thought of hooking myself up to an IV with chicken and smoothies in it, yes.
13) Did you ever consider changing your stage name to something awesome, like Sting or George Strait?
I thought about changing it to Bertram McFatFat. Thoughts?
14) One good way to get publicity is to have a very public feud with another artist. Who are you going to feud with, and how?
Tyler Tarver. We're going to slap fight like girls in Victoria's Secret.
15) I have been listening to your album while writing these questions. You are like, good and stuff. And I mean it, I’m not just saying that because this whole post is to get people to buy your music. Also, this really isn't a question so you can answer it by saying anything you want next, preferably something pleasant about me?
You are a gentle lover (of the arts), Scott Moore.
So there you go, I hope you enjoyed it.
I’m not sure if you could tell or not but I don’t know much about music. I’m secretly a sports talk addict. Honestly, it was hard not to end every question with “Now, I’ll hang up and listen.” HOWEVER, I really did/do enjoy David’s music and am not just saying that because if I didn’t he would write a song dishonoring or otherwise belittling me much like Taylor Swift does about all of her ex-boyfriends. I would totally listen to Ballad of Ben McLain over the breakdown of the Tennesee Titans’s second string offensive line.
PS. David’s name is David Robbins. If we were friends in real life I would call him Dobby, like from Harry Potter. This is probably why we are only blog friends.
PPS. I like Bertram McFatFat but would alter it just a bit to Bertram McFats-a-lot. To widen your demographic, obviously.
PPPS. Doing this reminded me of how much I enjoy interviewing people. If you have something to promote and would like for me to interview you for my sevens of readers. Please email me or leave a comment.
The first post of 2012 on January 9, so things are same as usual around here.
So it’s 2012, and I got nothing.
I think it is because on Christmas morning, after opening all of her presents, Ada looked up at LB and me and genuinely proclaimed “It was everything I dreamed it would be.” At that point, I think my brain just chalked life up to a win and stopped working.
Still, my last post has Christmas in the title and sadly, Christmas is no longer topical. If you’ve read my blog for long, you know I like for things to be topical so I have this mounting pressure to post something despite not having anything to post. It is very problematic.
This post is what you get.
On the way to work this morning I passed a car that had a bumper sticker that read “140.6”. I didn’t know what that was so I googled it when I got to the office. Then it made sense as to why I didn’t know what that was. It’s the total distance covered in an Ironman race, including the run, swim, and bike ride.
I think the bumper stick is kind of tacky, myself. I mean, a few weeks ago I watched the entire first season of The Walking Dead on Netflix streaming, which is quite the accomplishment if you ask me and probably about the same time commitment as your little race, but you don’t see me defacing my car in an effort to inform the world of my accomplishment. Come on, Ironmen, have some class. Plus, why do you even have a car? If you are that proud of the fact that you can travel 140.6 miles without the aid of a vehicle then you should just run everywhere you go. It is more widely accepted to run with your shirts off, than drive around with them off anyway.
That last sentence was intended for men. Ladies, shirts are always a requirement for you. I shouldn't have to clarify these types of things.
Speaking of running, a while back, I wrote a guest post for Tyler Stanton’s site Reluctant Runners. I never really spoke about it here because it is about something I’m not proud of – how my relationship with Laura Beth is founded on lies and deception.
Also, I just found out last week a few of my friends will be running in the Nashville Half-Marathon. I thought about signing up and running with them, then I remembered that I am me. But in all seriousness, I do want to do a better job at being healthy. I plan on making some resolutions. But not now. Not in January. That is so cliché.
PS – if you are an Ironman, I was just kidding about anything above that may have offended you. You are a better person than me. Just in case you don’t find this disclaimer acceptable and want to do physical harm to me, I think I should let you know that over the Christmas break I did beat my dad in an arm wrestling competition. So…..
Do you have any bumper stickers on your car?
The Archived Post Relevant The Office Quote.
Michael: January three, 2011. A day which will live in-famously.
