Echoes in the Pines

Apparently we are supposed to blackout out our websites today because of soap or something. As with most things I am not informed enough about what is going on to form an opinion so I am going to choose to ignore everything. It has worked so far in life.

Plus, if I didn’t post today I couldn’t tell you about my blog buddy, David Robbins, new digital album. Echoes in the Pines. Full disclosure: there are things I like and things I do not like about his album. I like the name because I think echoes are cool, if you say something you like you get to hear it multiple times. I don’t like the fact that it is digital, therefore making it impossible to hang on my rear view mirror.

You may remember David as the man who took Urkel as the first overall draft pick in last year's TV March Madness Tournament. But In an effort for you to get to know David better and hopefully listen to his music, and hopfullier buy his music and hopefulliest make him rich and famous, I conducted a very serious, quite formal interview with him.

1) Tell me a little about yourself and how you decided to pursue music as a career.

I started writing songs at 13. It came more naturally than learn others' songs and I enjoyed it more. It was a proper outlet for me as a kid. As I got older, I think it just helped me cope with the crap life throws at you sometimes. It helps me process. As far as it being a career, I don't want to assume I'm that good yet. I'd like to but it seems a bit pretentious.

2) I lost my job and moved furniture, you lost your job and create music…does that make you a better person than me?

No. You can no doubt bench press more than me and would win in a bare knuckle fight. You are a real man. I'm a pansy songwriter.

3) Who are your biggest musical influences?

Townes Van Zandt. Leonard Cohen. Johnny Cash. Those guys all had a way with breaking your heart.

4) What is the saddest chord on the guitar? Why?

That's tough. I think it's a toss up between C and A-Minor. Every song that makes me cry has those two chords in it. They've been sprinkled with magical depression dust.

5) I’ve often considered singing to be the same as talking, only taking longer to say the words. Thoughts?

Correct. Crap. I'm out of the job now.

6) What is your favorite song? Musician? Album?

Chelsea Hotel #2 by Leonard Cohen is definitely one of my favorites. That and the entire Rain Dogs album by Tom Waits. Pure gold.

7) Flava Flav wears a big clock around his neck. I think all musicians should wear oversized household objects around their necks. Though, I would wear something more useful such as a cutlery set, however I am not a musician. What are going to you wear around your neck now that you are a musician?

A lawnmower. Or a chainsaw. Or a sewing machine. Something manly.

8) Have you ever considered going on American Idol? If so, would you wear a bee costume or a bikini top, or something else as equally zany?

Probably the sewing machine. That's it.

9) If one of your songs were turned into a dance song, like the Macarena or the Stanky Legg, would a shimmy be involved?

Probably. But there would most likely be whiskey involved. So maybe not so much of a shimmy as a stupor.

10) Other than acts like Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, and Justin Bieber, what other musician's popularity is evidence that western civilization is doomed?

I actually respect Taylor Swift. She's a great songwriter for what she does. But other than that, Katy Perry. She is destroying our children's futures.

11) Do any of your songs "feat." guest rappers in the bridge?

Yes. Drake is on track 24.

11) My wife can play the tin whistle. Would you like to hear it?

More than anything ever, Boss Hogg!

12) I am pretty good at eating, one time I thought about this great invention where you build refrigerators with a mirrored back. This way, you wouldn’t ever not be able see food that might be hiding behind the gallon jug of milk. You are pretty good at music. Have you ever thought of an invention to improve your trade?

I thought of hooking myself up to an IV with chicken and smoothies in it, yes.

13) Did you ever consider changing your stage name to something awesome, like Sting or George Strait?

I thought about changing it to Bertram McFatFat. Thoughts?

14) One good way to get publicity is to have a very public feud with another artist. Who are you going to feud with, and how?

Tyler Tarver. We're going to slap fight like girls in Victoria's Secret.

15) I have been listening to your album while writing these questions. You are like, good and stuff. And I mean it, I’m not just saying that because this whole post is to get people to buy your music. Also, this really isn't a question so you can answer it by saying anything you want next, preferably something pleasant about me?

You are a gentle lover (of the arts), Scott Moore.

So there you go, I hope you enjoyed it.
I’m not sure if you could tell or not but I don’t know much about music. I’m secretly a sports talk addict. Honestly, it was hard not to end every question with “Now, I’ll hang up and listen.” HOWEVER, I really did/do enjoy David’s music and am not just saying that because if I didn’t he would write a song dishonoring or otherwise belittling me much like Taylor Swift does about all of her ex-boyfriends. I would totally listen to Ballad of Ben McLain over the breakdown of the Tennesee Titans’s second string offensive line.

PS. David’s name is David Robbins. If we were friends in real life I would call him Dobby, like from Harry Potter. This is probably why we are only blog friends.

PPS. I like Bertram McFatFat but would alter it just a bit to Bertram McFats-a-lot. To widen your demographic, obviously.

PPPS. Doing this reminded me of how much I enjoy interviewing people. If you have something to promote and would like for me to interview you for my sevens of readers. Please email me or leave a comment.