Guest post from Bull, the MLK Jr. of Christmas Lights

Surprisingly, I actually did get a few questions from my last post. I plan on getting the answers up early next week. Until then, I have a guest post from my buddy and old Dr. Awesome cohort, Bull. He sent me this post earlier this week but if I had posted it before today, the Friday after Thanksgiving, I would have felt like a hypocritical racist. Enjoy!

Are you familiar with the term "Christmas creep"? It's when stores start putting up their Christmas decorations way too early, which for the mall is usually around Labor Day. The worst offender is Target, which has spent so many years getting earlier and earlier with their Christmas creep that they've actually looped the calendar and the Christmas stuff you see on display now is for next year. I'm against Christmas creep. I don't think any Christmas decor should be on display until after Thanksgiving, like in the Bible when the Israelites put up their Christmas stuff (note: check this biblical fact before submitting post to Scott). However, I broke my personal preference this year. The Saturday before Thanksgiving, I went up in the attic, drug out the Christmas boxes, and started untangling strands of lights. My little girl has been potty training, and as a reward for successfully putting tee tee in the potty as opposed to on the floor, I decided to let her "help" me put some lights in the bushes on front of the house. Yes, it's a few days early, but potty victory trumps Christmas creep (that should be the slogan for something, I don't know what though, maybe a very special episode of a CW show). Everything was going fine until my wife revealed that she was a total racist.

I guess I should back up a couple of steps. We were developing our strategy for decorating the house, which I thought should be somewhere between minimalist and Clark W. Griswold, and I was unpacking several strands of multicolored lights. As I plugged them in to verify that they still worked, my wife informed that she only wanted to use white lights on the house. "Whites only?!?!" I thought to myself with alarm. Who is this racist vixen? A disagreement ensued, with her taking the side that white lights look simple and classy, and me taking the side that she is a racist who hates disadvantaged minorities for no reason at all. I pointed out to no avail that Jesus loves all the little children of the world, including red, yellow, black, and white. She remained firm in her position that this is just Christmas lights and has nothing to do with being racist. But I know better. We ended up going with the all-white look, because my wife's feminine wiles are persuasive. But I'm sad that our house might as well have a big sign that says "Merry KKKhristmas!"

Friends, you have a choice this year. You can use multicolored lights, and promote love and unity. Or you can be a divisive bigot and use white lights only. Christmas blog poll: which type of Christmas lights will you use? Will you add strand after strand of many colors, and glorify the Lord through diversity? Or are you a hate-filled monger of hatred? Leave your answer in the comments section.

Hello, it's Scott again. You should have been able to tell because all the letters are leaning slightly to the right. I know some people don't like leaving comments, so to try and make a way for everyone to voice their opinion on such an important, hot button topic, I made a poll for you:





Note: Poll isn't viewable in Reader. My bad.

The Archived Post Relevant The Office Quote.

Michael: Abraham Lincoln once said "If you are racist, I will attack with the North."