The internet is ablaze with talk of tomorrow’s impending Rapture. It all reminds me of my days of youth when I wanted to be a major league baseball player.
Do you remember the verse that talks about how no one, not even the angels, knows when Jesus is coming back? (Matt 24:36). When I was a kid, I remembered it.
See, when I was younger I really wanted to play Major League Baseball. I didn’t care what team, though if I had a choice it would have been the Atlanta Braves, but I knew it didn’t matter what team I landed on. I knew if I could hurry up and be old enough, I would be in the big leagues, grow a sweet Sid Bream mustache, and be a perennial 40/40 club member. So that verse was my safety net, ensuring that one day I would be old enough.
Every morning I would wake up and say, “I know Jesus is coming back today.” My reasoning being that since I knew today was the day Jesus was coming back, according to scripture, He wouldn’t. It was all very biblical and if I kept it up long enough, I would get my chance in the Bigs.
Eventually I got lazy. Occasionally, I would forget to say “I know Jesus is coming back today.” This meant I had left a window of opportunity for our Savior to return. I would panic. Now I’ll never get my chance to take Nolan Ryan yard or steal second on Benito Santiago, I’d think.
It only took this happening a couple times before I got smart. I made a slight change in my ritual saying – “I know Jesus will come back before I’m 50.” Now, I had secured my opportunity to have a nice lengthy baseball career while simultaneously taking the pressure off having to remember my morning maxim.
I say all this because I wanted to let you know, whether you are nervous about tomorrow or excited about getting to go to Heaven, nothing is going to happen. You're welcome or I'm sorry, which ever applies. I’ll be 30 in August, so you have a little over 20 years left before the Rapture actually happens. Use your time wisely. Maybe work on sitting back on that curveball.
For the record, I never did get my chance my in the big leagues. But thanks to a massive cold sore not allowing me to shave my upper lip all last week, I did get to grow that Sid Bream mustache. Unfortunately, LB did not rejoice with me as one my boyhood dreams finally came true.
The Rapture and My Baseball Career.
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6 Comments:
Amazing. We seriously had this exact same discussion yesterday at worship practice.
Hilarious!!! I love that you've more or less got us all "covered", at least, until you turn 50.
Hal Lindsey is so pissed at you right now. Like SO pissed.
Eric, tell your band mates that they are only practicing this week because prepubescent Scott.
Mary Ann, I do feel guilty for all those ready to go to Heaven, but there is nothing I can do about it now. Except go to the batting cages more.
Knox, Hal Lindsey should be thanking me.
When are we going to the batting cages so we can kick off the return of our big league careers?
Ricky, Let's go this weekend. I'll go at noon. You take off as many hours as timezones between us and you go at that time.
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