Every Wednesday night Ada goes to Awana at a local Baptist church. If you don’t know what Awana is, it’s kind of like a year long one night per week vacation bible school. Ada loves it. She gets to wear a special vest, and if she memorizes her bible verse for the week she gets a stamp and with enough stamps she can get a patch to iron onto her vest. She gets really excited when she gets a patch. Unfortunately, both LB and I are pretty forgetful and a bit unorganized, so we’ve lost one her patches and haven’t gotten around to ironing the other ones on*. I think Ada is the only “Cubbie” left in the class without a patch on her vest. Oops.
*To our credit, we did iron one on once, but it fell off, so it really isn’t our fault she doesn’t have a patch, its gravity’s. But this post isn’t about our lackluster parenting skillz. So let’s move on.
Every time I drive Ada to Awana, we sing together. It’s always the same song:
We run, we jump, we swim and play,
We row and go on trips.
But the thing that last forever
Are our dear friendships.
Camp Awana, we hold you in heart.
And when we think about you, I hope we never part**
If you are a child of the 80s or just a lover of great television, you probably recognize that our song is pretty much the theme song to the classic Nickelodeon show, Salute Your Shorts.
Every time Ada and I sing that song, my mind starts to drift… “I wonder whatever happened to Donkelylips?” As a child, I felt I had a special connection with Donkeylips since we both wore Husky sized jeans. I was curious as to what he was up to these days, so I did some research. And by research, I mean I googled “Donkeylips”.
Turns out Donkeylips has been keeping busy. You can go to his website and see for yourself the 22 movies, 33 TV shows, and 8 commercials that he’s been in. But my personal favorite is his recent stint at attempting a rap career. Holler. If only I had known about this while I was spitting rhymes in my car on my commutes to work when I didn’t have a cell phone. We could have toured together. Except I didn’t have a phone to call him with, so this all probably just a pipe dream. But still, it’s good to have dreams.
Reality is Donkeylips and I will more than likely never get the chance to bust sweet rhymes together like B-Rabbit and Cheddar Bob in the movie 8 Mile, but I’m not giving up without a fight. I emailed his publicist and asked if I could interview Donkeylips. (The email address was right there in the contact section of his website. How could I not?)
I’m not sure how fan friendly they are but we will soon find out. Obviously, if they respond and I actually get to do this interview I will post it here for your enjoyment. At the very least, I will post a picture of the autographed head shot I requested when it comes in the mail.
Do you have any burning questions for one Mr. Michael “Donkeylips” Bower? If so let me know.
**Bobby Budnick’s improvised line is edited out because LB does not like that word. Plus, I would not want Ada singing that to her fellow Cubbies effectively making her the Bobby Budnick of Awana and causing her to be looked upon with malice from the Awana leaders.
Michael: No, no, no. I mean, not because you're gay. Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis... I want you to go find firecrackers. And a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.
Oscar: Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office like Pepe.
Michael: Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.