I want to tell you up front that this post may not make sense; I am pretty drugged up today. Don’t worry, though, it’s the legal ones. But, I have mixed several different kinds of the legal ones, so that may possibly be illegal? I’m pretty sure that is how meth is made. I’m no expert, but I think you buy a bunch of legal drugs like maybe Aspirin and cook it or something. From what I hear, though, you have to be pretty careful because apparently meth labs have a tendency to blow up which leads me to believe Aspirin is quite flammable? That is one of the many downfalls to meth, exploding Aspirin. But I know none of my readers will ever try to make meth. Probably. I just thought you should know in case you ever have a headache after eating Mexican food, maybe you should take something less less reactive to fumes instead. (See? I blog because I care.)
Anyway, the reason I am drugged, maybe I should say medicated? Yes, forget that whole first paragraph. The reason I’m so medicated is because I have been sick since last Wednesday. I came home from work with a 100 something fever, feeling like this.
Sunday, I felt about the same, nothing majorly wrong, but still wasn’t feeling 100%. It was mostly still just sinus stuff, including both a clogged and simultaneously runny nostril. However, I decided that I would make the most of the day and attack the mountain of laundry that has accumulated in the house. I started about 11am and finished 7pm. Yes, that is a whole day doing laundry. But the best part is I found a match for every sock! The highlight of my “4 day weekend” from work was that I had a mate for every sock in the house. It’s ok, you can feel sorry for me, in fact I invite you to, I think I’d prefer that.
I settled back in on the couch that I had probably become too familiar with over the last few days until the oven timer went off. Eventually, I had my platter of bite-sized portions of heaven in front of me and things were looking up for the first time since all those days ago when my head felt like it was on fire. Until, I took my first bite. Apparently I was little too excited because I didn’t wait long enough for the pizza rolls to cool. When my teeth clenched down on that first one, lava shot to the back of my throat and slid down into my stomach. I may have passed out. I’m not sure. The fact that I’m not sure makes me pretty sure I did. If that makes sense?
So to clarify, while watching Jason Bourne take down government trained assassins, I was subdued by a miniaturized frozen Italian dinner. The only positive I can find in this situation is that if I had gone to the emergency room, I would have had on matching socks.
I guess the moral of this post is both meth and pizza rolls are dangerous. Also, for the record, I do not think meth is funny. I blame writing about it on the drugs. The legal ones. Never mind. Just don’t do meth. And, more importantly, please eat pizza rolls responsibly.