It’s a Christmas miracle in the making…it’s Christmas Eve and the Christmas beard is still attached to my face. It’s filling in somewhat nicely and though it has a long way to go to actually qualify as a man-beard, we’re (the Christmas beard and me) feeling very encouraged. But more importantly, there’s been very little resistance from LB. I think going public with this campaign and gaining a swelling number of supporters has helped the Christmas beard’s cause. Or, LB just doesn’t care anymore. Either way, for the first time in a long time, we feel we can probably carry this thing through. It will be a moral victory for hairless faces everywhere.
Here’s a picture of the Christmas beard. The picture was taken about a week ago now, but not much has changed since then. The Christmas beard is special in that it is seasonally festive, plus it takes enormous amounts of time for it actually thicken. Or is it ‘fill in’? Whatever the proper beard terminology is for growing more face hair. I’m new to the beard world so there is somewhat of a language barrier. My apologies.
1) Notice the contrast in the highlighted circle on my chin versus the highlighted circle on what is supposed to be sideburns. When looking into the chin circle it’s like staring into the black infinity of outer space. However, the sideburn circle is like an aerial view of a much neglected corn field.
2) There seems to be a huge gap between the chin hair turns into sideburn hair. Its very similar to the Panama Canal. It’s like my cheek skin didn’t want to have to sail all the way around the tip of South America to get to my neck skin. Touche cheek skin.
3) The “Laura Beth” neck tattoo – LB has been trying to get me to tattoo her name on my neck ever since that girl at Chik-Fil-A gave me an extra pack of Polynesian sauce. Because, “I’m her man.” she says.
4) The tear drop tattoo – This represents the mourning I’ll eventually be in when I finally do have to depart with Christmas beard. Hopefully, I'll be able to turn it into a New Years beard
Merry Christmas beards everyone. Next year, I hope all of you grow one too because they make Santa and Jesus happy.
The Christmas Beard: An Update
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4 comments:
they do make Santa and Jesus happy. Come to think of it, that's really the 2 of the 3 only real motivations in my life. making Santa, Jesus, and Mary Elizabeth happy. That and writing enough letters to convince Taco Bell to bring back the Chaco Taco.
After this Christmas beard strike is over, I'm sure I will need some other movement to support. I can't think of anything else I'd rather get behind. You have my full support.
Oh yes, please do tattoo Laura Beth on your neck. Awesome... and maybe you could put the kids on the other side? That would be awesome.
Actually, I was going to save space on the right side of my neck for the kids. I'm going to wait until they're all old enough and let them each sign their own name. Jailhouse tat style. It will be bonding experience for us all.
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