President Robocop

This post probably won't make sense. It’s late and I’m tired and was about to go to bed but wanted to check on my fantasy football team. When logging into Yahoo, this article in their featured section caught my eye. It’s not long, so I copied it all in full for you below.

According to Norwegian site VG Nett, bus driver Andreas Jankov has formally changed his name to Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. "I wanted to show that it is possible to be serious and at the same time take the name you like," said the film enthusiast. "I wanted to see how far I could take it with respect to the number of names. I started thinking about this three years ago and it was approved in January this year." Apparently, he's had his passport and bank card reissued, but the name was too long so he dropped "Highlander."

Thanks to our commenters, we've been able to break down the name:

- Julius is an homage to the famous chimp at the Kristiansand Zoo
- 'Arn' is a Swedish knight movie- Elessar and Gimli are from 'Lord of the Rings'
- 'MacGyver', just the greatest Richard Dean Anderson show ever!
- 'Highlander' could refer to either the movie or TV show
- Chewbacka (aka Chewbacca) is from 'Star Wars'

So, When/If he gets married will he make his wife take his name?

I can kind of relate with Mr. Jankov - I've ridden on a bus before, always liked Macgyver*, and never liked my name. It's too simple...Scott Moore. The name Scott makes me think of someone who's a member of the country club, wears sweaters as scarves, and plays croquet. None of those are me. Then, Moore just makes my first name seem needy, like Scott is always asking for something additional.

So, I began to think, if I were going to officially change my parent given name to something else a bit longer and peppered with pop culture references what would it be? I came up with President Jesús Q. Rocky Bernard Robocop Earp Chik-fil-a Montana.

President – I don’t ever plan on being president of anything, but the name automatically demands respect
Jesús - Homage to our Savior, but pronounced hey-zeus. Like the Apostle Peter, I don't think I deserve anything exactly like Jesus so I’m mixing up the pronunciation a bit
Q. - Stands for Quincy, but legally will be Q. because initials as names are pretty sweet and Quincy's Family Steakhouse was the original home of the big fat yeast roll.
Rocky – because I like to think of myself as somewhat of an overachieving underdog and some have compared my eyes to those of a tiger's
Bernard – after my favorite member of The Office, Andy Bernard
Robocop – brings a slight edge and adds an overall toughness to my name
Earp – for Wyatt Earp in Tombstone because he was a bad man, I would have went with Doc Holiday, but he died in the movie so Earp it is.
Chik-fil-a - No explanation should be necessary here

Montana – old 49ners QB and boyhood idol. I used to pretend to be Joe Montana in the backyard imaging I was a quarterback even though I weighed as much as his NFL offensive linemen did and I was only 11yrs old.

If I ever tried to go through with this, I am pretty sure LB would shoot it down pretty quickly, so I'm not going to push the issue. Besides, with a name that long, it will eventually get shortened to just the first name on the list anyway. Then all my mail would start showing up addressed to Mr. President and pretty soon the paparazzi would begin camping out in my driveway thinking the president lived here causing me to be late to work, so I'll just avoid the confusion.

*I used to watch Macgyver with a notebook. I would try to write down all the tips Mac explained during the show in case I ever got caught in any situation where I would need to make a explosion using washing detergent and Chex mix. Now, I have all the seasons on DVD. And the internet, so, 10yr old Scott wasted a lot of his time. I also don't think I carried the notebook around with me, so I don't know what good the notebook would have done. If I ever was caught in a situation where I might need the notebook, I wouldn't have it and would have had to asked the ones seeking to capture me if I could go get the book, which I think defeats the purpose of having it altogether.

Ok, now my fantasy team is losing by 40+pts and its about an hour past bedtime, so I'm going to bed now. I'd be interested in knowing what your Andreas Jankov name would be?