Quick Dad Tip

I have all kinds of things in queue that I plan to post about, but can’t seem to find the time to get them down. I’m still behind at work from missing four days of work in two weeks. I missed one day for what was possibly the first case of Swine Flu, one day I had to go to court for a follow up to this, and two were for the anniversary trip LB and I just got back from. Plus, I am trying to read three different books and have begun studying for some certification tests that I have to pass by the end of the year. And to top it all off, Lost is coming on in 30min.

Obviously I’ve got a lot going on, so the fact that I am making time to post this should prove that it is pretty important and you should pay attention. Or, more specifically, dads with daughters should pay attention. Moms already know this. In fact, they are the sole reason this tip is even needed.

Ok, enough of a build up for something that really doesn’t deserve a build up. I’m talking about how to remove ponytails.

This is a new problem that has just popped up in the past couple months. Ada’s hair has just recently become long enough that LB can put it in a little pony tail. Notice I said LB, there is a better chance of me domesticating a raccoon before me getting Ada’s hair into a ponytail. I don’t see how LB does it. I think she has a magic hair wand.

This is usually how the scene unfolds. LB leaves to go tutor and Ada and I hang out until bath time. I get her in the bath and start to pour water over her hair, but then notice her hair is still in a ponytail. I try to pull it out, but it doesn’t budge. That little band is wrapped so tight, it’s as if LB picked Ada up like she was a loaf of bread and did that move where you hit one side of the bag so it spins around really really fast then you quickly put the twisty tie on before the spin loses its momentum and due to inertia, begins spinning back in the opposite direction causing slack in the bag.

Anyway, I'm trying to say the ponytail holder is tight. I can’t get it out, Ada begins throwing punches because I’m ripping her hair out by the root. I’m telling her I’m sorry and that her mom shouldn’t treat her like loaf bread, she doesn’t understand and begins screaming horribly then tries to roundhouse kick me but because she’s in a full tub (and she’s not even two yet) she just falls over into the water. It’s like that scene in Lionheart where Van Damme fights that guy in the half empty swimming pool.

To help you avoid a scene like this going down in your bathroom and possible concussions courtesy of your toddler daughter, here is my tip:

With each hand, take the hair at the bottom of the pony tail (the hair that is still lying on the scalp leading into the pony tail) and pull straight out in opposite directions as if you were separating two plys of toilet paper. Inch the hair out from the bottom little by little and the farther you go, the looser it will get until eventually the pony tail holder will fall harmlessly to the ground with no need for a cage match between you and your offspring.

It sounds simple but works like a champ. I’m not sure if this is the “correct” way or the way LB would do it, but it works and more about results than anything else. If you have any other suggestions where you don’t have to treat your child like toilet paper I would be open to suggestions.