No, not that Office, I’m not talking about the most glorious show on television. Of course, The Office is quite the treat but I’m talking about those small delicacies that happen in the real world offices across America. The offices filled with water coolers, cheap ties, and conference calls; the land where time stands still.
From my experiences in the office, people always seem to react to things differently in the confines of their cubicle than they would in the real world. There is something about 3 foot walls that cause the littlest things to become the biggest deals. This phenomenon is usually more prevalent in some more than others and for those of you who know what I am talking about, probably have a particular person in mind right now.
If you’re in the corporate world, you’ve more than likely experienced this before, perhaps even fallen victim to it. You know when Eileen in accounting got a new electric stapler and how nice it was, how it can hold 5000 staples at once and staple 200 sheets per minute. Or when Gerald in transportation got that new ergonomic leather chair. It was the talk of the office for days, even inspiring jealousy in some. Oh the little things that gets you through 9-5.
I know the powers that be in HR have their finger on the pulse of these occurrences because there have been many attempts in the past on my coworkers and me to be lured into a false state of contentment. Forget the fact that benefits are getting cut while premiums are going up, take this AM/FM pen with LED light and be happy that, now, you can make out checks to the insurance company in the dark while listening to “Your Body is a Wonderland.”
My old company tried to pull these stunts all the time. There are only a few I can remember now. I know some mornings, as you walked into the building, there was one of those old school popcorn carts sitting in the corner with a smiling face waiting to hand you a FREE 2oz bag of popcorn. Who doesn’t want popcorn at 7:30 in the morning? Or, they never gave Christmas bonuses there, but one time, the last day before I was leaving for Christmas vacation there was a 2”x3” envelope waiting on my desk when I got there in the morning. I opened it up to find a $3 dollar gift card from Starbucks that said, “Thanks a Latte!” Merry Christmas, right? (I went during lunch that day and got a rice crispy treat and a water and owed $.34)
Much to the contrary of the old office, my new one usually nails it when they decide to “treat” us. Anyone who offers up the Tuesdays of Legend, you know they know what is going. Being as level headed, easy going and laid back as I am, I personally always thought I was immune to the office disease of overreaction…until yesterday. I think we got the best office treat that I could ever ask for. They installed a Coca-Cola Classic fountain drink machine about 20 feet from my desk. This means free fountain drinks all day long! Though it’s going to have the opposite effect of my new plan to drink more water, by pretty much rotting my kidneys from the inside out, it sure beats a new stress ball. But at least the day will be broken up from all the bathroom breaks and 5 will get here a lot sooner.
LB instilled a love for fountain drinks in me back when were dating that has only grown over time. So needless to say I am very excited. Think Stanley from “The Office” on Pretzel Day, except for me, every day will be pretzel day. I know Cousin Eddie would approve of this treat because just like the Jelly of the Month club, it truly is a gift that keeps on giving.
Ok, I think I am going to go get a refill now.
Office Treats
Stuff White People Like Contest
I’m not sure how many of you read the blog Stuff White People Like, but it is one of my personal favorites. Their satirical posts are usually quick, clever descriptions of some object or idea that "white people" are infatuated with. It always cracks me up, mostly because I know, have known, or met someone exactly like each post is describing. For example, here are a few of their posts that have reminded me of my lovely wife: scarves, grammar, bottled water, and difficult break-ups. But to be fair, there are a couple that nail me as well: shorts, new balance shoes, standing still at concerts, and having black friends. (You can go to their site click on “Full List of SWPL” tab and see all these and many more.)
Not so long ago they landed a book deal and it is coming out very soon. I’ll probably never actually purchase the book, but they ran a contest on their site that ended today. The contest is to see how well their readers “know” white people and send in a 350 word max guest post. The winner gets a copy of the book and their entry posted on their site.
With almost 700 entries, I know my chances of winning are about as good as Hilary Clinton wearing a skirt, but thought I would give it shot anyway. For one, I am sure the book is funny, I’d never buy it, but this way I’d get it for free. Second, I submitted it as Dr. Awesome from http://www.gotmanswers.blogspot.com/. They started the site in January and it has been viewed over 31 million times, so it’d free publicity for the new blog. Thirdly, I didn’t have anything else to blog about, (there were no altercations at the softball fields last night.)
I tried to write it in the format they usually do and I don’t really know if my topic is more prone to white “people” or white “college fraternity guys”. But here was my attempt to be half as awesome as those guys:
It matters not the climate nor conditions, a leather thonged flip-flop is in white people’s clothing arsenal 365 days a year. Rain or shine, summer or winter you can expect to see those chubby, white big toes settled into that worn-in brown leather home they’ve grown so accustomed to year round.
You would think that a piece of leather with a strap and a sole would be very simple, cost efficient article of clothing. However, as you already know, nothing is simple when it comes to white people. White people tend to favor things that appear simple, yet are very expensive. This is why preferred brands among white people are Rainbow or Reef. Both make the classic leather sandal, however charge a premium price. These purchases make white people smile as they swipe their credit card (where 1.49% of every purchase goes to charity.)
A white person feels most comfortable when they can wear their flip-flops and deem all occasions flip-flop acceptable. If at a work seminar or funeral and a white person walks in sporting their flip-flops, it would be wise to make a remark to any surrounding white people: “Good for him, I wish I were that brave. My feet are killing me in these loafers.” This will not only earn the white people’s trust, but also establish your lesser position as a human being. Bonus points will be earned if you approach the gentleman wearing the flip-flops and congratulate his triumphant entrance by explaining how you were just telling others how much courage he must have. This will invite him to discuss his decision, further cementing your bond.
The leather flip-flop is a very handy tool in becoming friends with white people as it is a vital part to their wardrobe. It would be smart to keep several pair that are easily accessible, maybe in a gym bag, in your briefcase, or in the trunk of your hybrid.
Please note, Birkenstocks are no longer acceptable substitutes. If you make the mistake of wearing them, all credibility that you have worked so hard to earn thus far will be lost.
Happy Friday.
Tuesdays of Legend
That is what I have decided to call my new work-from-home-Tuesdays. There are a couple reasons I went with this title. One, because I know sooner or later this dream that I am living every Tuesday will be ripped from my fingers, and years from now these days will only be legendary. Second, I think it sounds cool. There was no French toast this time, but so far, both Tuesdays that I have worked from home have been great.
I had Ada duty last night and she only woke up once at around 2:15 and was back to sleep before 2:30. This is good for two reasons: 1) it was quick and I was able to get back to sleep without a hitch 2) this wakeup call guaranteed my freedom tonight. (Our Ada duty goes like this, we alternate nights, whether she wakes up once or ten times, your night is your night. If Ada happens to sleep through the night on your night, then you just push your night back a night. This way we both get sleep at some point throughout the week.)
So, I woke up after a full night’s sleep on Ada duty feeling good. I worked solid for a couple hours and then decided I would watch/listen to the next Indiana Jones as I finished up my morning routine. Everything went smoothly and then it was lunchtime.
LB and I decided to work a way into the weekly budget to take advantage of different lunch specials every Tuesday. This will be good quality time for the family and a chance for Ada and her to get out of the house. Today was Chili’s. I think Chili’s is my favorite of all the chain restaurants, so I was pleased.
Lunch hour was over and it was time for the last half of the day. I finished everything up while watching/listening to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. I had forgotten how much that movie cracks me up, very quotable.
5:00 finally arrived and I closed the laptop and went to see my girls. For some reason, after the end of a workday while at home I have a ton more energy. After a little wrestling with Ada, I decided to go outside and get a little yard work done that I had been putting off. As I was finding the perfect spot for the sprinkler, an idea came to LB.
We suited Ada up and introduced her the sprinkler. Last week at the church pool day, Ada loved the water so we thought this would be perfect for her. At first, she was a bit timid. She was grasping onto LB with everything she had in her and burying her head into LB’s shoulders. As time went by she got braver and braver, eventually grabbing the sprinkler itself and slinging it around. While all of this was going, possibly the most Legendary event of the day happened, Ada stood on her own. Granted, it was for like 7seconds, but it’s a start. LB was sure to document the whole thing and should have pictures up on her blog soon. (Though I’m not sure if she got any of the free standing Ada, it all happened so fast.)
Mark another Legendary Tuesday down in the books. I know it may not sound like it, but I honestly think I get a lot more done while at home. I’m not sure how many more are still to come, especially if my boss finds this blog and sees that I’m watching movies as I work. I’m willing to chance it.
Cross Blog Pollination
I have yet to make a PSA about my other blogging endeavor with fellow blogging buddy Bull. I thought since we have had a few weeks to get some material up, now would be a good time to go ahead and share. Now, you can see how the site it going work and get a feel for how things are going to go over there.
Bull did a post introducing it a couple weeks ago, covering everything I would want so you can check it out here. (I figured since we were partners now, it would be ok if I stole his stuff.) It is called “To Every Man a, Manswer” and basically, our blogging personas have morphed into the manly advice columnist, Dr. Awesome, where we come to the rescue of an estrogen-plagued male society. You can get a background on Dr. Awesome here, as if his name alone wasn’t enough to trust him.
Surprisingly, we do have random guys emailing us with different questions on how to be more masculine. Our latest was an inquiry asking if it's ok for men to wear those sissified rubber clogs also known as Crocs. Here was Dr. Awesome’s response:
Dr. Awesome,
Can a man wear crocs or clogs?
Julius Benedict, Los Angeles, CA
Julius,
I'm assuming you mean crocs the rubber shoes, not crocs as in boots made from crocodile skins. There is no question a man can wear croc boots. Now obviously you know a man cannot wear crocs, based on your comment about Rascal FlatTs probably wearing them. I commend you for that. But I see that I need to give a little guidance to other men who are croc-tempted. That is why I am here, to sprinkle a little awesomeness on men everywhere. So let's talk crocs.
I'm sure that these crocs must be really comfortable, as there are tons 8th grade girls walking around in them in middle schools across America. That should be your first warning right there...no man should have anything to do with 8th grade girl fashion. A second warning, just because something is comfortable doesn't mean that it is acceptable for men to wear. Mrs. Awesome thinks there is nothing more comfortable than a fun little summer dress on a warm day, but that doesn't mean Dr. Awesome wants to go raid her closet when the temperatures start to rise. Comfort and functionality matter, but they don't trump self-respect.
Regarding the shoes themselves, crocs are made of rubber. Men should not wear anything on their feet that is not made of leather, blue suede, have cleats on them, or are steel toed. Maybe the occasional flip flop if you don't have hairy gorilla feet and you don't anticipate having to do roundhouse kicks that day (the shoes keep flying off, believe me, I've tried). Suppose you are taking a relaxing stroll in your crocs on your way back from instructing your lion taming class down at the local YMCA. Suddenly you come upon a burning building, and an old woman crying for help. Can you go rescue her? No, your crocs would melt to your skin, and you both would die. A man's shoes should not be able to be destroyed by a pair of Saf-T-scissors or a Chihuahua. You want shoes that can withstand the worst that nature has to offer...they need to be equally at home in a fire and in a tsunami. Crocs do not fit this bill...they are maybe useful in an aquatic setting, but for what? Keeping pelicans from biting your toes? If you are that worried about birds chomping on your feet, just don't go to the beach. Regardless, stick with shoes that are functional in every environment known to man.
Even if crocs were functional, they look idiotic. Men's shoes should only be one of three colors: brownish/tan, black, or white. Crocs are usually fluorescent pink, neon blue, and glowing green. There is never a time when a man's footwear should be visible in the dark. If the shoes would light up during cosmic bowling at your local alley, they are off limits. Nor should the shoes blend with the color scheme inside your local laser tag arena. Think subdued colors that don't call attention to your feet. You want the ladies staring at your biceps, not your glow in the dark middle school girl pseudo-sandals.
You also asked about clogs. Clogs are only for apron wearing strudel baking little Dutch girls named Gretel who sport oversized doilies on their heads and eat porridge for breakfast, or polka dancers. And the only dancing a man should ever do is "the sprinkler" or "the robot" or, on special occasions, "the lawnmower", and none of those require oddly shaped wooden shoes. Things might be different if you are a man in Holland, where cobbled footwear might help you find a mate. But 99% of you need to stay away from clogs.
So, Julius, can a man ever wear crocs or clogs? Ask yourself this; can you envision Charlie Daniels tapping his foot on stage while playing "Uneasy Rider" in a pair of crocs? Were any of the participants in Bloodsport wearing clogs? I didn't think so. Any man who desires to own a pair of either should join Glenn Dorsey on his next shoe shopping spree.
Dr. Awesome
Hopefully you liked it or at least found it useful. If so, subscribe in a reader so you will be sure not to miss any more of Dr. Awesome’s manly wisdom. Ladies, feel free to subscribe as well. If you are scared your significant other will think you’re calling him a girly man if you suggest he read it, you just subscribe yourself and drop little hints over the dinner table. Men are not very smart, I’m sure he won’t catch on.
So, if you know of any men that need a little help finding their way or more importantly, any multi-million dollar companies looking for somewhere to advertise their man products, send them Dr. Awesome’s way. He would be glad to lead him down the strait and narrow path of manliness or cash any six figured checks.
Near Fisticuffs on the Diamond
Our softball team hasn’t been doing so well here lately. I think we are something like 6-8 on the season, loosing 4 out of our last 5. Remember at the beginning of the season when I was excited because I was actually on a good team for once in my life? Well, with it being industrial league softball, I think a lot of our usual guys get stuck working 2nd shift or maybe drink a little too much of Grandpappy’s secret sauce before game time, resulting in us playing about 2-4 new players each game that I have never seen before. Most of these “replacements” are on the lower end of the Bell curve of talent. But it’s industrial league softball, it’s all just for fun anyway….right?
Not last night. Last night was by far the most interesting night I have had at the softball fields.
Before I get into the story, I thought I should breakdown our team and let you know how the league works. Our roster breakdown is about 3-4 Hispanic (of those, 3 are very portly), 5-6 homegrown rural Georgia talents, and 2-3 guys very similar to myself, meaning corporate America has brought them here. Before I go further, I would like to add that all of the usuals on our team are very nice guys, maybe a tad too many F bombs for my liking, but nice guys. As for the league, there are only 6 teams and the “season” is about 6wks long, with 2 games every Thursday night. This, of course, means we play the same teams multiple times. So, if there is bad blood between teams it only gets worse as the season goes or if there is a mouther on another team, he grates on your nerves that much more game after game.
Ok, back to last night’s shenanigans.
As I mentioned there are always a couple players that I have never seen before and last night was no different. Last night, there were 3 guys playing that I didn’t know and I can only tell you one of their names. Jeff. That is because his wife was in the bleachers and was yelling his name the WHOLE game: “Let’s go Jeff! Show ‘em how it’s done, Honey! Here we go, Jeff! Show ‘em what you got!”
Unfortunately, Jeff didn’t have much. Jeff thought he had a lot. His wife thought he had a lot. Everyone else could pretty much tell Jeff had the athletic ability of a clogged toilet. Now, if that was his God given natural ability or merely enhanced by his 7th Natty Light, I’ll probably never now.
Jeff being unathletic was not the problem. Just like God gave us all individual spiritual gifts, he gave us all certain abilities as well. The problem arose from Jeff thinking his certain ability was being Joe Montana, Michael Jordan, and Dale Murphy all rolled one making him Zeus of the softball fields. Sometimes people just need to stand back, evaluate themselves, and realize their personal skill sets. Take me for example, I am just your average joe blogger, I know this, so I’m not going to drive downtown, walk into the office of the Atlanta-Journal Constitution’s editor-in-chief and tell them how to run their show. Not the case with our ol’ buddy Jeff.
Jeff was so full of softball knowledge and busting at the seams of his customized mesh jersey with mad softball dexterity that he not only wanted us to know about it, he was proudly conveying this to the other team through the rusted chain link fence as well. However, the other team promptly replied with their disagreements to Jeff’s self-assessments. The more vocal leader of their team happened to be the heavily tattooed third basemen. He professed, in a very harsh manner, his own personal feelings that Jeff played much like a woman.
Keep in mind this was only the top of the first inning, the first pitch was less than 5 minutes ago. With this mounting tension in the air, Jeff stumbled his way to plate. Our first two batters had popped up to the outfield, so Jeff was our last hope of not going down 1-2-3 in the first inning. Jeff stepped into the batters box and waited for the pitch. He was still waiting as it went by and the umpire yelled, “Strike!”. The next pitch was up, Jeff swung, and the ball rolled about 5ft down the first base line in foul territory, not very representative of the power Jeff assumed he had. Two pitches. Two strikes. This was it, Jeff was down to his last strike. Here comes the pitch. Jeff swung with all of his might, spinning circles in the box from the force of his swing; unfortunately, after the dust settled, the ball was in the catcher’s glove. The mighty Jeffrey had struck out.
One of the most embarrassing, kick to the groin things that could happen to a proud man is to strikeout in slow pitch softball. It goes against all that he believes he is. Couple this with Jeff being ten feet tall and bulletproof due to the yeast induced chemical reactions going in his brain and the self-inflicted relentless jeering coming from the other team and Jeff lost it.
I guess giving the current circumstances Jeff figured the most optimal thing for him to do at that point in time was to throw the bat at the very outspoken third basemen. Fortunately, just like his last swing, he missed. The inked up third basemen ran toward Jeff to voice his displeasure of having a bat tossed at him. Then for about the next 5 minutes, as Jeff’s wife was screaming from the bleachers, “Kick his **edit**, Jeff! Kick his **edit**!”, the two walked around in circles bumping into each other’s outpoked chests and talking about how promiscuous each of the other’s mother was or how, if indeed they did get into a fight, badly they would hurt one another.
Just about everyone in both dugouts ran out to either pull these two cowboys apart or show their favoritism to the representative of their respective team. I however, was in the dugout laughing, very hard with the 3 Biggie Sized Hispanics. We were having a blast. I wasn’t about to run out there to defend Jeff. You can call me a girly man if you wish, but I wasn’t going to chance a Demarini double-walled softball bat to the kneecap for this guy I didn’t even know. Besides, I am in Shef’s wedding this weekend, I got to keep this face looking pretty.
After a while, everything had calmed down and surprisingly there were no ejections or altercations for the rest of the game, even though Jeff struck out…again. Later on, we did learn that Tattooed Third Basemen Playa was a “state employee” and he had been assaulted with a deadly weapon and was going to press charges. I will keep you updated on any impending lawsuits.
On a much happier note, I went 5 out of 7 at the plate for the night with 4 RBI’s.
Hope everyone has a great, softball-brawl-free Fathers Day Weekend.
Love you, Pops.
Can Television be a Spiritual Gift?
Lately, talk of spiritual gifts has been popping up all around me. Last Sunday we had a guest pastor at church, so we took a break from our usual expository sermons through Acts to allow the guest to preach. Out of all the subjects in the bible, he spoke on spiritual gifts.
A while back I made a call to the public asking for online sermons and Mark Driscoll was suggested. I downloaded the last 2yrs worth of his sermons into my iPod and have been going through them one series at a time. The series I am on right now now, spiritual gifts.
All this talk about spiritual gifts has me contemplating, “What are my spiritual gifts?” From what I’ve learned, a spiritual gift can be anything, just take what you know or what you do well and use that to further God’s kingdom. I’m still trying to figure mine out. Now, keep all of that spiritual gift talk in mind. I have group of about 4-6 email buddies where we email one another throughout the work day. It’s mostly news articles, sports arguments or senseless debates over things that probably don’t even need to be resolved.
Today, a conversation about television and our Top Ten favorite shows came up. I think I’ve mentioned before about how much I love TV, but this conversation is when I realized I may have a real problem. It was actually painful for me to narrow my list down to ten. There are just too many great shows to choose from. I’ll include my top 10 for you to compare, contrast, and scrutinize. In no particular order:
1. The Office
2. Friends
3. LOST
4. The Wonder Years
5. Cheers
6. The Cosby Show
7. 30 Rock
8. Quantum
9. MacGyver
10. House
There was several, several others that made honorable mention, but these are the ten I settled on. The fact that I was able to spout all of these out off the top of my head made me think, maybe I like TV a little too much. There are much better ways that I could have been spending my time over the years, but it's too late to worry about that now. No sense dwelling on the past. My question for the here and now, how can I use this knowledge of television to further God’s Kingdom? Can TV be a spiritual gift? If so, I would love to know how. I would be a mac daddy disciple if I could convert people based on my knowledge of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Maybe I could explain it to unbelievers like this: Now, you are LOST but, you could become a member of The A-Team and you and God could really be Perfect Strangers, even Friends. He would help you through The Wonder Years, while you’re trying to figure out The Facts of Life. If so, you too would make that Quantum Leap to The Office in the sky (without Wings.) It’s not just Law and Order like in the Old Testament because 2000 yrs ago, when God’s Boy Meets World as The King of Queens, he prepared a way that each one of us could be All in the Family through Grace Under Fire. If you understood completely, it would be hard for you to Curb Your Enthusiasm, but we have to take it Step By Step until we are Saved By the Bell and get to become Charlie’s Angels in 7th Heaven, where there’s no Growing Pains or Unsolved Mysteries or need for Cops, Divorce Court, General Hospital, or ER and Family Ties will never be broken. These will truly be Happy Days when we are in God’s Full House of The Golden Girls and no Men Behaving Badly.
Until then, Cheers.
Not So Typical Tuesday
A response to Milla’s request to post an entry on what we (the blog nation) are doing today.
What I am doing today, actually originates with events that transpired last week. Around Wednesday of last week, I got an email from my manager entitled “work hours”. I won’t lie, I was nervous when that popped up. I was wondering if I had been getting in a little too late or leaving a little too early a little too often. When I pulled it up, I was happy to see that it was sent to everyone in my group. As I read, my eyes began to get bigger, and when I finished I raised my head over the cubicle walls and there was already one head popped, then seconds later another, and another. We were all looking at each other in disbelief. This was probably the best email I have ever received from any of the bosses I have ever had in my entire life.
So, here I sit today banging out this entry from the comforts of my own bedroom. No waking up at 6:30, no cubicle walls, and more importantly no congested commute to work. That’s right. The email said that we were all going to be allowed to work from home one day a week. Today is my day and every Tuesday until further notice. The reason being the gas prices finally topping $4 a gallon here in the Atlanta metro area and an understanding boss. He said since we have the capabilities and there was no reason we couldn’t work from home one day a week, why not? My thoughts exactly, why not?
I rolled out of bed this morning at 7:45 (except for the 2:15am Ada feeding, last night was my night), fired up the computer, and here I sit, still in my t-shirt (no undershirt) and Nike shorts….working. I look like I could be headed to the gym, but I am checking actual sales versus forecasted sales of Iceberg Garden for the Harris Teeter in Nashville, TN. Awesome.
I have only been working for home for about 4hrs now, but I have to say I am loving every bit of it. About 30min after I got started this morning, LB yelled from downstairs that breakfast was ready. I wasn’t expecting that at all. I stumbled downstairs, still yawning every once and a while and there was a plate with homemade French toast and a side of bacon waiting for me on the table. I graciously partook, then thanked my Susie Homemaker and went back upstairs “to work.” At about 10, LB took Ada to meet some other stay at home moms from church for pool day, so I started running some reports, took some paperwork downstairs and watched a little Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark….while I was working. I never thought I would get paid to watch movies.
LB just called and is on her way home. She is going to pick me up and we are going to have lunch at our Mexican restaurant. I guess I better get a shower. I hope everyone else’s Tuesday is as awesome as mine has been so far.
The Dungeons and Dragons Movie Gallery Guy Has Earned My Trust
With LB being out of town, AGAIN, I decided I would celebrate my rediscovery of being able to breathe through both nostrils and make a trip to Movie Gallery after work. I went in searching for one of my usual LB-is-gone-man-movies, but had nothing specific in mind. I made the walk from the left to right all away across the new releases wall and found nothing. I can tell Bezal has been on the go a lot here lately because I am completely caught up on all the movies I want to see. After my 25 minute disappointing stroll through the store, I was feeling very dejected. The good TV is still broken so if I went home empty handed, I was going to have to pass the time watching television on the small TV that doesn’t get good reception. No matter what you watch on it, it looks like it’s snowing. (Remember, we still don’t have cable.)
Needless to say, I was determined. In my desperation I walked up to the counter and struck up a conversation with TD&DMGG. I told him my situation and asked for help. He was very cool, but just to cover my bases, I was sure to tell him I was looking for a “mainstream” man movie. He started with his list. I had already seen the first 7-8 or spouted out. Then he asked if I had seen Equilibrium. I had never even heard of it so I asked to see the box. As soon as I saw it starred Christian Bale and Taye Diggs, I was in. I have become a big Bale fan recently after seeing 3:10 to Yuma (though the ending was stupid, Bale was good), Rescue Dawn, The Prestige, and Batman Begins. As far as Diggs, I figured as long as he wasn’t showing Stella how to get her groove back, I would be all right.
It’s utopian type movie taking place in the future after a 3rd world war. Apparently, the powers that be in the future decided the cause of war is human emotion, resulting in everyone having to take medication that deprived you of feelings. Also to keep the peace, anything that triggered emotion had been outlawed – literature, music, art. Of course, there was a group of rebels who decided they liked feelings way too much and established an underground community where they can look at paintings and listen to classical music. They also had a bunch of guns. There was a special forces unit, whose sole purpose was to maintain this gray, mundane world by taking out all transgressors. Bale is one of the top dogs on the police force, but misses a dose of his emotion-blocking drug one morning and begins to get a feel for what things could really be like. I know my little synopsis makes it sound sort of corny, but it really was a decent move. It’s not going to make my top 10 or anything, but it kept me entertained.
I am not a very picky movie watcher. I only ask for 2 things: keep me entertained and have a good ending. This delivered on both. Admittedly, the first half of the move was a little slow, but I let that slide because it was setting up for the best part of the movie. The last 20min were great and made the whole thing worthwhile. There were a few unexpected twists, awesome shoot outs, fight scenes reminiscent of the Matrix, and one scene where Bale pistol-whips about 8 soldiers with machine guns. The last 20min was a great man bookend for the movie.
(This section might be considered spoilerish, so be warned. I don’t feel as bad posting spoiler type material since the movie came out in ’02.) One thing I noticed that I thought was cool, was how closely Bale’s character mirrored Saul of Tarsus/Paul of the Bible. In the beginning, Bale mercilessly hunted down the rebels and executed them on the spot, much like Saul did Christians. Then the morning he didn’t take the medication, Bale happened to notice that the government had put a film covering over all the windows and slowly removed it to see the blinding sun shining through, there was even a rainbow. It was very suggestive to Paul being blinded on the road to Damascus at his conversion. After the forgotten medication, Bale doesn’t want to go back to his old ways, resulting in him becoming a leader of the rebels, again, just like Paul became one of the great leaders of spreading the gospel. I doubt the similarities were on purpose but, I did notice them and I rarely notice stuff like that, so I was proud of myself.
Now, I have to go catch the season premiere of The Mole on ABC. I’ve never watched a season before, but I have heard from a number of people that it is a pretty awesome show. I just hope they are somewhere in the Antarctic, so I want notice the artificial snow from the bad reception. If you have watched it in the past let me know if it is worth getting into. I could ask my new friend TD&DMGG if he watches it when I return the movie, because he has totally earned my trust for next time.
